Missing Roxanne.

I realized today that everything I have posted so far is something that someone else has written. I need to write something from my heart to remember Roxanne. So just off the top of my head, here goes:

Roxanne, I miss you every single day. I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.

I miss your sweet face and soft brown eyes gazing at me

I miss your soft ears and that place on your forehead between your eyes where I would always kiss you

I miss outlining the brown places on your fur and wondering how it is that you have such perfect markings.

I miss the way you’d jump around with joy when I got home, as if it was the best thing to ever happen. It didn’t matter whether I was gone for an hour, a day, or a week, it was the same.

I miss the way you would fling your toys up in the air and bring them to me to show me “hey, look what I have to play with! Isn’t this the best toy ever?”

I miss the way you’d fly off the deck when I let you out because you were so happy to be outside.

I miss the ferocious way you would bark whenever someone knocked on the door – you were my protector.

I miss the way you would squirm to get underneath my legs when I sat down on the floor to pet you & hug you, as if it was a place you felt safe. You knew I'd never let anyone hurt you. I was your protector, too.

I miss how you would lean against my leg when I sat down to pet you, and put your head on my lap. I miss how you would just come over and sit next to me, just to let me know you were there in case I needed anything.

I miss the lazy way you would stretch across the bed, and the way you’d put your back leg up in the air when I reached over to rub your belly.

I miss how you’d look for squirrels and kitties on all our walks and remember each and every place you had ever seen one.

I miss how you would watch closely any other humans that were in the house, even though I told you it was okay. You just wanted to make sure I was okay.

I miss how you would run with your tail wagging and your ears flopping.

I miss how you would run out into the garage when I came home – even though I had to stop the car and get out to let you back in the house.

I miss how your ears would go up when I would say your name and the intense way you listened so carefully to every single word I said.

I miss the loving way you would lick my face and my hands, as if in doing so you were caring for something precious and fragile.

I miss the way you would push Morrison out of the way as if to declare me as your property.

I miss the way you would whine whenever you saw another dog, especially if it was a dog behind a fence, like you felt sorry for the dog because it wasn’t out for a walk like we were.

I miss your snarly face and the growling sound you made when you pretended to be mean, but I always knew you were just playing.

I miss the snapping sound you’d make when you were excited and knew we were about to go for a walk.

I miss how you would lie on the floor patiently waiting for me to take you for a walk

I miss how you’d kick me sometimes during the night as you dreamed of whatever it is that dogs dream about – chasing squirrels, cats, or running on the beach.

I miss the joy on your face as you stuck your head out the window when we were going somewhere in the car, like it was just the best thing in the world.

I miss the love and complete trust I saw in your eyes when you looked at me.

I miss how you would lick the tears that ran down my face as I cried.

I miss the way you would sit in front of me as though you would protect me from all the bad things in the world, if you could.

I miss the way you would gently nudge my arm with your nose just to let me know you were there,

I miss hearing your breathing as you slept.

I miss the sniffling sound you’d make as you walked up the stairs and got up on the bed

I miss the way you sneezed.

I miss the way you’d pick up a toy and hold it in front of Morrison as if to proudly announce that you were the alpha dog, the master of the house, and not him.

I miss throwing the duck into the air so you could catch it.

I miss asking you if there was a kitty outside so I could watch you sit up on the bed and gaze out the window.

I miss feeling your cold wet nose on the back of my leg as you walked right behind me when we were hiking.

I miss watching you learn to catch the Frisbee so you could take it away from Morrison. and just drop it on the ground, so he’d have to pick it up & carry it back to me.

I miss driving home from work knowing that you will be there waiting for me.

I miss you in my life. But you will always be with me.