welcome to my pity party!

/commence pity party

I think the reason I'm such a big baby about all of this is basically because I have been so fortunate up until now in terms of illness and injury, so I'm not adjusting very well, and also because I don't have anyone to help me at home, so it's just really frustrating. I'm trying to be positive and creative but I really have my moments. Normally I'm really independent and strong (also stubborn as hell) and I don't let anything get to me. I've been through enough shit in my life that this is really no big deal. I can't wait for the day when I can just look back on all of this and laugh.

I've been on crutches for almost 4 weeks now. I made the mistake lastnight (while icing my foot with a bag of frozen peas) of holding up my 2 legs to compare them. I was shocked and upset by the size of my calf - it's just about shrunk to 1/2 the size of my healthy leg. That has never happened before, so it was not a pleasant sight for me. Sobfest number one. Welcome to my pity party!

What's amazing to me is that perfect strangers will tell me their injury stories, and I learn something from each one. It's like this automatic bonding thing - people see my crutches and they can instantly sympathize and relate. I know I'll get through it, but the littlest things send me off into a crybaby fit. Like this morning, I was trying to collect a urine sample from my dog (I took her in for shots & bloodwork on Saturday so the vet requested that I bring in urine for testing asap). So there I am, hopping off the wet, slippery wooden deck onto the bark and then hobbling around on the wet grass following my dog, who is already afraid of my crutches, trying to avoid the "lawn ornaments" and her looking back at me like "you stupid human, leave me alone to do my business!" Needless to say, by the time she squatted to pee, I couldn't get the container under there fast enough & dropped one of my crutches. Didn't fall, but still felt frustrated enough to launch into a full-fledged pity-induced sobfest right there in the middle of the lawn. Sobfest number two.

Oh well. Hopefully that will suffice as a frustration release for a while. I have to stop making a big deal out of the little stupid things. I mean, a little fractured fibula is really nothing to cry about. It's temporary, but yes, crutches are a pain in the ass. Minor inconvenience. At least I'm not the starting quarterback for Oregon, who broke his fibula last week & is out for the season. Kellen Clemens (Oregon Ducks QB) had surgery this week and he'll be out for 3-6 months. That just sucks!

/end pity party